Therapy for Menopause
Menopause is a natural stage in a woman’s life, yet it can bring about complex physical and emotional changes. Whilst the physical symptoms are more well known, its often the emotional impact of menopause that can be so debilitating for many women.
The Emotional Impact of Menopause
Every woman will experience the menopause differently. Here are some of the ways it may may affect you:
Mood swings
You may find yourself on an emotional roller coaster where your moods seem unpredictable, extreme, and often irrational.
Anxiety
Some women may feel overwhelmed or have a sense of nervousness, worrying about things they never worried about before. Or you may start to have panic attacks or develop sudden unexplained fears such as driving on the motorway.
Low Mood or Depression
Women often report feeling flat, sad, being more tearful, having feelings of impending doom, or no longer finding pleasure in the things they used to.
Reduced Motivation
Feeling low can also affect your motivation, drive, and mental energy. It can be difficult to start something you know needs to be done and so you procrastinate.
Social Anxiety
You may also have less interest in socialising, start questioning the value of your relationships and feel less inclined to please others. This can add to feelings of loneliness and isolation and lower your mood further.
Irritability
Emotions may vary from frustration to intense rage. It may seem as if a “switch has flipped” and you are going to explode. This can affect your relationships and sadly make people move away from you, at a time when you need their support the most.
Insomnia
Sleep disturbances can contribute to mood swings and interfere with day-to-day functioning.
Brian fog
Problems with memory or concentration are common. You may struggle to recall someone’s name and simple words can escape you. It can be very debilitating for some women.
Body Image Issues
Physical changes such as weight gain or changes in body shape, can lead women to feel dissatisfied with their appearance. It can also become harder to lose weight, despite exercising and eating well, which can feel demoralising. Beliefs about ageing and desirability can also affect libido, putting a strain on relationships.
Loss of Self-Esteem and Confidence
Many of the changes mentioned above can affect how you feel about yourself.
Being unable to cope with things can leave you feeling worthless. If you have stopped doing the things you enjoyed, it can affect your sense of self and identity, especially if they were a significant part of who you were. Also, if you feel more anger or rage, you may feel guilty or ashamed of your behaviour and consequently tell yourself what a terrible person you are. Brain fog can also have a huge impact on your confidence, leading you to question your decisions. For some, this can result in giving up on careers, they have taken a lifetime to build.
In a culture that celebrates youth and thinness, it can be hard to accept the physical changes that occur in midlife, leaving women feeling less attractive and less valued in society. In addition, the loss of fertility may signal the end of youth and femineity, and that somehow you have nothing more to contribute.
All of these things can leave you feeling like you don’t matter anymore and could make you withdraw from life and feel more isolated.
Suicidal Thoughts
Your self-worth may deteriorate to the point of consistently believing that the world would be better off without you. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help urgently. You can contact the Samaritans by calling 116 123.
Additional Life Stressors
For some women, the experience of menopause is accompanied by life changes like career shifts, children leaving home, the end of a relationship, or caring for ageing parents. Midlife can also be a time of reflection, which may bring up unresolved issues from the past or childhood trauma. All of which can add further layers of stress and emotional challenge.
How Therapy for Menopause Can Help?
Counselling can provide a supportive space to explore your own personal transition through the menopause in several ways:
Process Emotional Changes
Identify how anxiety, depression or anger may be impacting your daily life.
Develop Coping Skills
Learn ways to manage your symptoms and negative thinking patterns using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) based strategies.
Rebuild your Self-Worth
Explore your identity and self-esteem and how that has been impacted by cultural stereotypes around ageing and beauty. Challenge self-critical talk and focus more on self-compassion.
Reframe Issues
Work towards accepting what is happening to your body instead of fighting it, which can open different options to experiment with.
Acknowledge Losses
Explore your grief around the end of your childbearing years and youth.
Past Issues or Childhood Trauma
Address any deeper issues from the past, that were perhaps suppressed or ignored.
Relationship Dynamics
Look at how your relationships have shifted and find ways to improve communication and connections with those close to you. Also how to find more support from others.
Lifestyle Changes
Build healthy habits around, exercise, sleep and nutrition to improve your overall well-being.
Embrace New Challenges
In addition to support with these emotional challenges, counselling can also be an opportunity to consider new possibilities. It can help to rediscover personal strengths and aspirations, seek out new opportunities and goals and embrace this stage as a time for growth and transformation. You may even realise you no longer need to be everyone’s saviour and can prioritise your own needs, which can be extremely liberating.
Menopause in South Asian Women
Although the conversation around menopause is generally growing, in the South Asian community it is still a taboo subject, shrouded in secrecy and shame. The absence of a universally recognised term for menopause in several South Asian languages is itself really telling. Discussions in the family and extended families and friends rarely happen. There is often this belief that our grandmothers, mothers and aunts all went through it and never had any issues, almost an attitude of ‘you just have to get on with it.’ This culture of silence allows misinformation to prevail and prevents Asian women from recognising and addressing their own experiences.
In midlife, women often have so many other responsibilities on their shoulders, so they don’t consider their health as a priority, and their symptoms are often dismissed as ageing issues. Therefore, when Asian women are unable to speak openly, they’re going to feel more isolated and alone, which can then make the mental impact of menopause worse.
Culturally sensitive counselling can provide a supportive environment for you to openly discuss your experience of menopause and midlife. It can be an opportunity for you to explore the cultural and social pressures that may impact your self-worth, relationships, and mental health, empowering you to prioritise your own well-being as you move toward a more balanced, fulfilled life.
Contact Me
If you would like more information about how I can help, please contact me to arrange a free 15-minute phone consultation.
About Me
My name is Nabeelah Khan-Cheema and I’m a counsellor and IFS therapist. However, before I became a therapist I worked as an Orthoptist (eyes) in the NHS, for over 30 years. So, how did I get from Orthoptics to a career in counselling? Read More…